grrrr.....

This is just something weird about my self and it is kind of freaking me out lately. It always happens that if I said to my self that I will not be a ………….. (any negative attitude on earth) .. person.I turn out to be one. For example, I tell my self not to be judgmental person and BAM!!! there I am judging another people passing by me. Hoh.. This is horrible and terrifying for me. What makes it worse is that the fact that I did not realize that I become one. I did not know when does it started to develop within me and that makes it hard for me to stop it.hoo…

There are a lot of things that I prefer not to be (e.g ungrateful child, annoying person , greedy etc) and the fact that this thing is happening to me makes me worry about how will things turn out in the future… or should I just make a reverse mechanism for this like instead of saying “I will not be a …….. (negative attitude) person” to “I am not going be …….. (any positive attitude on earth)” so that I develop the positive attitude without noticing it.erm.. Can it be?? Can this solve my little dilemma here?? Erm… lu pikirla sendiri!!! hoho