decided to write

yeah.. its new year..2010.. and here i am.. writing..(typing) tapping on the keyboard..

2009.. let's talk about the past 2009 that just left about an hour ago.. 2009.. a lot of stuff happened in my life... i turn 21 in 2009.. i learn a lot... i get some stuff , i get to know new persons .. despite all this thing I think that it was a tough year... the most tough year ..

In March... I lost the one I love.. my Ipo Yam.. she's gone.. what a sad time ... but it is all God's will..our time together just end there.. alhamdulillah i have that chane to take care of her during she's ill.. that is one of the lesson i learn in 2009.. learn to accept when your loved one is no longer around.. Our family become stronger.. I will try to be a good daughter for my parents cos i know someday one of us will go first.. I don't want to live with regrets for not giving all your love to someone you love when there are still alive.. I still remember that I always wanted to buy her a scarf for her in kelantan.. but i always forgot about it.. Oh.. herm.... I miss her..

In June , I was separated from my family .. all alone in Kota Kinabalu for my practical..luckily k.wandy was there..living with all strangers.. one house.. three rooms.. one room for the landlord, my room.. me .. all alone.. the third room + living room that was crowded by a bunch of guys ( 8 guys I guess).hoho... there I learned 2 things.. first i learn how family and friends are important, 2nd .. that money is not everything but we better have it instead of having nothing.. During the holiday before the pratical , in November 2008 , i remembered my conversation with my mom in a cafe... I said that I wish I can join any University programme during holiday . but somehow.. maybe the way i said it hurts my mom.. as if "i don't like being at home or i wish i have more time in university".. then i guess Allah just makes my wish come true.. there you go Ain.. go to Sabah .. All alone.. during your Holiday.. hoho... like..i said to myself.. padan muka.. heaah..

July, August, September , October & a bit of November ....
i got a great crisis within my self .. There is a war going inside.. I almost lost my self... dead.. torchuring my mind, body and soul.. maybe this is because of the 21 years old thing... i just goes ding dong.. dissappointed with myself in my academic part , Lost faith with my self and some other people.. dying .. it was the most horrible terux period in 2009.. so kusut masai ... kesian my rumet.. have to face 'that' me... and also my friends... Alhamdulillah.. Allah shows me the way back.. and i am back.. i hope i will be a better person.. no more the july august september october & a bit of november 2009 nur ain othman... so gud bye.. I love Allah , Rasulullah , my family , my teachers , my friends..